Scientists know that living systems must be open, that no life is to be found unless there is an ongoing, complex and effective web of relationships. It is only humans who try to live their lives largely as closed systems, islands separated emotionally, mentally, energetically and spiritually. In doing so, they merely exist in relationship, unaware of its possibilities and too aware of its pain. One client described it as being covered by a very thick condom so that her arms were pinned down by her sides and she was completely cut off from everything and everyone, including herself. Moving beyond old modes of relating means letting go of fear and daring to risk-take. For most adults this proves to be immensely challenging, even threatening, so locked away have we become, so fearful of opening up in case we prove vulnerable.

As the poem says,

Terrified
Of exposure
Of risking
The shattering awe-full
Brilliance of connection

Yet risking is the only way; to refuse to risk connection is to die of inertia/alienation. If we don’t risk all we cannot come into the sacred relationship which is a meeting of souls.

Risking is not necessarily comfortable; it can be challenging in the extreme. Most of us are afraid of destruction, of being jolted out of our old beliefs and modes of behaviour, of losing in that instant all sense of who we thought we were. The world in which we live is a technological world of ‘things’ which don’t have to be encountered, simply used. We therefore have little experience of connecting in any genuine way.